I See Myself Going to Funny

Our eyes constitute one of the most essential parts of our body.

Our body's five sensory organs are the eyes, nose, ears, skin, and tongue. Eyes help us see and appreciate the beauty of the world as we know it.

Doctors who study and later examine patients' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists. Caring for our eyes is of utmost necessity, but so is having a little fun. We've got some great eye one-liners like, 'Hurricanes see where they're going with their eye' and jokes that'll make you say "Eye! Eye!"

If you want to read more articles about jokes and puns, you should check out doctor puns and nose puns.

Glassy Optical Jokes About Eyes

Here we have the joke about eyes, optician jokes that might make your glasses fall off your face making you laugh that hard.

1. Where can you always locate the eye? Exactly between H and J.

2. What kind of vision do all the sanitation workers have? Bin-ocular vision.

3. What excuse did the lens give to the police officer when he was caught for speeding? He said, "I've been framed, sir."

4. What kind of game do all the frames love playing? Tag.

5. How do the optometrists listen to music? With eye-tunes.

6. What did the left eye mutter to the right one? It said, "Between you and me, something smells."

7. What did the sailor say to the optometrist? He said, "Eye! Eye! Captain."

8. Did you hear about the bone doctor and optometrist who shared jokes? The bone doctor's jokes were pretty humerus, but the jokes of the optometrist were too cornea.

9. Why didn't the optometrist want to learn any jokes? Because he heard it helps break the eyes.

10. Where would you take one eye that is depressed? To a low vision center.

11. Have you heard about the optometrist that brought his daughter to a chamber? She made quite a spectacle of herself.

12. What would you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

13. What would you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer.

14. What would you call a fish that didn't have any eyes? A fsh.

15. Why did the mum decide to buy new glasses? Because she thought that it was the ideal eye deal.

16. How many optometrists are needed to screw in one light bulb? I don't know. You'll have to tell me. Is that one or two?

17. What do they call the place where they send the light that has gone bad? To prism.

18. What did the eyes say when they finally got the glasses? It exclaimed, "Eye'm back!"

19. What did the mom contact lens say to her mischievous baby contact lens? She said, "I've had enough of your shenanigans. Now, go, sit in the cornea."

20. What did the cornea tell the Latino eyelashes when they met? It said, "Eye carumba."

21. Did you hear that the police found the eye case hard to solve? Well, still, the police managed to close the lid on it.

22. What did the patient say when the optometrist asked him if he ever had his eyes checked out? The man said, "Not really. They have always been blue."

23. What did the optometrist tell the judge when he was in court? He said, "Iris my case."

Funny Eye Jokes That Are Eye-Catching

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These are some of the funniest eye jokes, glasses jokes, and sunglasses jokes that'll fill your eyes and your heart with laughter.

24. Why did the pupil decide to end his friendship with the eyelash? Because she had a habit of lashing out.

25. What is the similarity between an optometrist and a teacher? They both love testing pupils.

26. Why were the eyelid and the eyebrows always fighting? Because they just couldn't see eye to eye.

27. Why didn't the eyes like wearing any glasses? Because he always kept having to lens some money.

28. Why did the optometrist want to go to the movie theater? Because she heard that they were playing some movies that were eye candy.

29. Why did the teacher have to start wearing sunglasses? Probably because his students were bright.

30. What did the ice wife ask her husband? She said, "Tell me something about my eyes."

31. Why did the girl always seem to lose her contact lenses? Because she couldn't ever keep her eyes on them.

32. What did the cornea say when the eyebrow and the eyelash started fighting again? He said, "I retina this is going to go on for a while".

33. What happened when the man could see clearly after a long time? He was very ex-eye-ted to see.

34. What happened when a man accidentally rubbed some ketchup in his eyes? He regretted it in Heinzsight.

35. What did the eyeball say after tasting a cheesecake for the first time? It said, "Wow! This is to eye for."

36. Why are eyes puns not puns? Because they're optical allusions.

37. What did the husband optometrist say to his wife? He said, "Eye really sclera about you a lot."

38. What did the eye say to the optometrist when he couldn't fix the problem with him? He said, "Well, it's okay. You tr-eye-d your best."

39. What did the optometrist say to the eye that had been feeling sick for a while? He said, "Eye hope you start feeling better soon".

40. Do you ever surf the Internet? Not much, but when I do, eye brows.

41. What happened when the man had a stick stuck in his eye? He had a-stick-matism from then on.

42. If a man holds a bee in his hand, what does he have in his eye? Bee-auty.

43. Why did the teacher decide to quit her job the other day? Probably because she was unable to control her pupils.

44. Why did the phone start wearing glasses? Probably because he lost all his contacts.

45. What did the teacher say to the aspiring eye doctor students? He said, "Eye say, you pupils are imposseyeball."

Eyesight Jokes That Are Cornea

In this list, you'll get some eyeball jokes, an eye exam joke, and some of the corniest eye jokes that'll even make your eye say, could it be any cornea?!

46. What did the man who rents jokes to people say to his new customer? He said, "I'm retina cornea joke today. If you need something like that, eye cone lens you."

47. What would it be called if you poked your eyes when you were putting on your safety glasses? It'd be eye-ronic.

48. What makes our eyes feel quite lonely? It's eye-solation.

49. What was the movie they made on the life story of a man who couldn't see properly since childhood? It was a myopic.

50. What would you call an alien that had a missing eye? It'd be called Alen.

51. What do you spy with your little eyes? Not a thing. Because I have two eyes of normal size.

52. What would you need to do to become a famous eyewear designer? Focus on the latest fashion and keep an eye for st-eye-l.

53. How does it feel to wake up every morning? It's an eye-opening experience.

54. Why are our eyes undoubtedly the most important part of the body? Probably because they always focus on what matters.

55. Have you heard about the man that got some salt in his eyes? Now it's become see salt.

56. What are eye drops in technical terms? Blinker fluid.

57. How did the wonderful carpenter cut the piece of wood by looking at it? Well, he saw it with his eyes.

58. Have you heard about the boy who was dating a girl that had lazy eyes? Turns out, she was seeing someone else.

59. Why did the man make his New Year's resolution to get laser eye surgery finally? Because he always wanted a 2020 vision.

60. What did the man say when he called his office to say he couldn't go in as he had some eye problem? He said, "I can't see myself going to work today."

61. Do you know the doctor who has an office at the shopping mall? I guess he's an Opthemallogist.

62. What would you call a pig if it had three eyes? It'd be called Piiig.

63. Have you seen that movie about a pig that didn't have any eyes? It was PG.

64. What would you call an eye doctor who's wearing a short shirt? She'd be a crop-toptometrist

65. What did the comedian who only tells bad eyes puns say? He said, "bad puns are they way eye roll."

66. Did you hear about the cashier that scanned the eyes of one rude customer with his barcode reader? Well, the look on the customer's face was priceless.

Eye Doctor Jokes You Should Check Out

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Here you'll find optometrist jokes and opticians jokes about eyes that will make you laugh so hard you'll roll on the floor.

67. What would you call the eye, which has the ability to fly? An eye soar.

68. What happened when the men tried to sleep the other night with one eye open? They weren't able to sleep a wink.

69. Have you heard about the new horse species that has one horn and one eye? It's named the unicornea.

70. What's the eye's favourite musical group? The Black Eyed Peas.

71. How does the eyeball congratulate everyone on their success? It gives them eye-fives.

72. What did the left eye tell the right eye? It said, "Well, you're looking alright."

73. What did the husband mention to his wife at their wedding? He said, "Your eyes are so blue, I lose myself at see."

74. Why do eyeballs like to purchase and use new electronics? Probably because they are all very eye-tech.

75. What device do eyes usually use to listen to music? They use eye-pods.

76. What do the eyes use every time to communicate with each other? They use eye-phones.

77. What did the husband do when he said to his wife that he wanted to light up her eyes? He decided to light up some fireworks.

78. Why did the teacher advise his students to wear glasses at math exams? Because he said that it would improve their di-vision.

79. Why did the eyeball decide to end his relationship with the elbow? Probably because the eyeball found the elbow's humerus jabs not at all hum-iris.

80. Why was the eyeball relatively quick at learning new stuff? Because she had a high eye-Q.

81. What does one do with a black eye? Put on an eyes pack.

82. What did the optometrist have to say about the painful eye pun? He said, "I did not see that one coming."

83. What is the favorite song of the blue eyeball? "You Are Eye Sunshine".

84. What did the right eye mention to the left one when they were having an argument? It says, "I see that you're still wrong".

85. Why should you never put any avocado in your eyes? It's so that you don't get the guac-oma.

86. Who can help you with the case if you lose your glass eyeball? A P Eye.

87. Why did the therapist suggest anger management to the eye? Because he told her, "Eyelash out whenever Eye'm mad."

88. What did the eyeball sing when it was gazing at Pike's Peak? It sang, "Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough."

Dad Jokes About Eyes Worthy Of Eyerolls

Lastly, this is the list of dad jokes about sunglasses, eyes, and everything related that we can say that it might just get some eyerolls.

89. What would you call the eyeball who just got a pilot's license? He'd be called the Sky Eye.

90. Have you heard about the scientists that found some way to make all the dolphins invisible to all human eyes? Well, I don't see the porpoise.

91. Why do the snipers close one eye whenever they're aiming their shot? That's because if they closed both their eyes, they wouldn't be able to see.

92. Why was the eyeball sure that he was really smart? Probably because he has an eye school diploma.

93. What did the judge have to say about a bad eye pun said during the trial? He said, "Eye will allow it."

94. How can you make someone's eyes twinkle? Well, you just shine some light in their eye.

95. What is the most favorite day of eye care professionals in a week? Freaky eye-day.

96. What happens if you have the heart of the lion and the eye of the tiger? You'd get called to the circus.

98. What did the snowman tell his son? He said, "I told you not to cross your eyes because they'd freeze that way."

99. What did the optician decide to name her new eyewear shop? She called it, 'For Eyes'.

100. How does the street eyeball greet everyone every time? He says, "Hey brow!"

101. Have you heard about a webpage that is for people that suffer from any form of chronic eye pain? I guess that's a site for sore eyes.

102. What would you call it if an apple user looked you in the eyes? iContact.

103. What would you call a fish that cannot see? He'd be called fishually impaired.

104. What would you call a dinosaur that has no eyes? It'd be Do-you-think-he-saurus.

105. What do the zombies eat for dessert at school lunches? Eyes cream.

106. Why couldn't the cyclops stop crying? Because they had good moistur-eyes-er.

107. Where do all the rabbits go every time they need their eyes checked? To the hop-ticians.

108. How does a hurricane see? It sees with its eye.

109. Why do doctors say carrots are good for our eyes? That's because nobody has ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses.

110. What do the spooks that have low eyesight wear? The spook-tacles.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes/ for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 110+ Eye Jokes then why not take a look at bone puns, or foot puns?

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Source: https://kidadl.com/funnies/jokes/best-eye-jokes-that-are-perfect-for-making-a-spectacle-of-yourself

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